omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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