You smell like a Billy Joel song
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
