We won't sleep together?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
