Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Randomize
