I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
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