her vagine was all disorganized.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize