Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
