I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize