Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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