I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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