Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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