I think I died a long time ago.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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