I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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