Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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