Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
