you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
