He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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