Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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