on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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