Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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