I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
