I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
