She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
