I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
