I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
