The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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