I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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