so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
