When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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