My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
