I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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