She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
