We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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