Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
