i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
