Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
