Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
