he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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