i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
