why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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