She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
