Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.