She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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