Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
