she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
