My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
