I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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