Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
