I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
