He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
