you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
