the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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