is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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