Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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