Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
