I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
