I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize