well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Can you bring me the toilet please
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
